There Are No Words...

For the Grandmas

Because grandmas love videos of their grandbabies, here are a few: Asher in the tub, making cooing sounds and talking, and laughing with Daddy

Coming up on Five Months

Asher is turning five months old next week. It sounds...old in baby terms. Five months is no longer in the newbornish stages, it's moving into the big baby stages.

I was playing with Asher's feet tonight and suddenly got all nostalgic and choked up as I remembered those tiny little feet that I'd never seen kicking me inside, and how tiny (and yet how big on him!) and curved they were when he came out, with toes that would clench when you rubbed the bottom of his foot and spread out when you rubbed the top.

I love where he is, just like I have since he was born. I love every moment most while I'm in it, which is probably the best way to live life in general. Here's a look at the things I love about him right now.

He's sitting up quite well on his own. He's still in the tripod stage, but he's fairly stable in it, and can even play with toys in front of him.

He likes to grab faces. Noses and mouths are his preference. He tries to eat them as well, but he tries to eat everything. Tonight he was supposedly playing with his dangling toys, but in reality had grabbed onto the leg of the toy for dear life and was happily chomping away on it.

He's like his dad: happy, calm, and laid back. He objects to sleep and is a bit of a tech-head-- his favorite toys are an old cell-phone, Dad's X-box controller, Mom's computer, and his car. He also has his dad's big feet and hairline with a funny cowlick in front.

He's like me: serious, impatient, and curious. He studies everything-- even things meant to make him laugh usually produce more of an intense, curious, I'm-trying-to-figure-this-out look. When he eats, he starts to grunt/cry with impatience if he has to wait for me to get ready for him. He still gets upset if my let-down is too slow, and he wants his bits of rice cereal one after the other, the second he's swallowed. He also has my forehead, blue eyes, and blonde hair.

His nose, however, is all his own. We're not sure yet where he gets it from.

When he nurses, the hand on top always has to be moving. Generally, he rubs it across my chest back and forth. It's a good way to tell if his nails need trimming.

When we went on a walk the other day, he discovered the sky for the first time. He was strapped to me, belly-to-belly, and tipped his head back. He brought it back up, looked at me straight in the face with a look that said, "Have you seen that awesome huge blue thing up there?" and then promptly tipped his head back again. And again. And again.

When he's happy, he buzzes his lips or makes a gurgle/growl in the back of his throat. When he's mad, he spits with a very perturbed look on his face.

He loves when I sing "Sleep Song" to him before bed.

He wants to eat everything we eat and drink out of every cup he sees. He's actually managed to drink from a straw and straight from a cup without spilling or choking. He hollers very loudly if we eat and don't share.

When he's laid in his crib for a diaper change, he gets very excited and starts kicking and blowing spit bubbles. I think a lot of it has to do with how much he loves to be naked.

He's becoming quite an expert at putting his binky back in all by himself.

And he's just so darned cute! I love our little buddy more every day he's with us.

Things I Love About Being a Working Mama

When I first realized I would have to go back to work after Asher was born, I cried for three days. I was pregnant, so that explains part of it, but I was also crushed that I wouldn't get to spend all of my days with my baby. Danny and I tried to come up with alternatives that would allow me to stay home, but in the end, there was no denying I would have to go back. We prayed about it, and I got a very distinct impression: though it wasn't what I wanted, it would bring very particular blessings.

Now that Asher is nearly five months old, and I've been back to work for several months, I have come to see those blessings. First, I've found I actually enjoy being able to use different parts of my brain, and interact with coworkers during the day. I have been surprised at my ability to stay focused and still enjoy what I do for six hours a day. This is a wonderful blessing I didn't expect.

Second, our schedules have worked out perfectly so that either Danny or I are always home with Asher. We don't have to pay a babysitter, and I feel immensely comforted knowing Asher is with his daddy while I work.

This brings up another blessing-- Asher and Danny's extra time to bond. Not a lot of dads have the opportunity to spend so much time with their kids, and it has been such a wonderful blessing to both Asher and Dan.

Also, it gives Danny and I a chance to appreciate each other's future roles. When he graduates, I will be able to stay home, and he will be working. I can't count the number of times we've commented on how he understands the difficulties of being a stay-at-home parent, and how I understand how hard it can be to be a working parent. The amount of understanding we are gaining of what will be each other's more permanent roles is a wonderful thing that will help keep our relationship strong.

I'm also glad that I have an understanding of what it's like to be a working mom for the sake of seeing "both sides of the coin." I'll probably be a stay-at-home mom most of my life, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to understand the other side that many women deal with. There is often so much debate between the two groups (at least that I've seen online), and I'm glad I'll be able to see both sides of the argument.

Finally, I'm teaching my boy the value of hard work:

And when I get this adorable man every morning and late afternoon/evening, how could I complain?
Shower time for Asher and mommy in the mornings.

Two Peas in a Pod

Asher is an incredibly lucky boy-- he gets to spend a good part of his days with his daddy! While mom's away at work, the boys always have a good time!

They go on drives...

...and listen to music...
...and play X-Box...
...and get all dressed up for the day...
...and try to eat each other...
...and basically have a grand ol' time! (And get a little dirty, as you can see.)

Busy Bee

In light of my New Year's resolutions (all of which, I'm happy to announce, I'm actually keeping to some extent), I've been pretty busy lately, hence the reduction in blogging. There's also the fact that poor January is the boring month that has to follow the most anticipated month of the year. It's not its fault, but there just isn't anything exciting that happens in January.

Being busy with the right kinds of things has been SO MUCH FUN! I've been exercising in the mornings with my little buddy, and he loves the hula videos I do. He also finds it a crack up when I do my crunches with him sitting on my belly. He's a great little weight, I have to say. When I walk (weather permitting), I get a lot more of a workout if I wear him rather than put him in the stroller! I haven't lost any weight yet, but it's amazing how much better I feel already.

While we're still not perfect in our scripture study and prayers, we're a lot better than we were before. Pumping at work has turned out to be a perfect time for me to get a little one-on-one time with the scriptures. One of my favorite parts of the day is reading to Asher from the Book of Mormon Stories before bedtime and saying family prayer.

I've also been getting back into my writing with a vigor. I was an English major with a creative writing emphasis in college, but since I work as a writer, I often used to come home without the ability to create any more coherent sentences. Lately, though, despite the lack of sleep that comes with being a mom, I've rekindled my spark. I have been writing after Asher goes to bed while Dan does his homework or works (which is practically EVERY night), and I love it. I'm also taking a weekly writing class that is absolutely amazing, and have started a writing group with some friends from work, as well as a friend from high school. I'm having a blast!

In the midst of all this, I'm still managing to work, love on my baby as much as possible, and spend a few precious hours with my husband (who is also quite busy, since he adds school to his own work/daddy schedule). I even still get to do a little bit with Ghana, mostly in a consulting capacity with volunteers.

I must have a type A personality, because I'm thriving on all of this activity!

In the Last Two Hours

I have:

Sent the hard-working hubby off to class with lots of baby-waves and blowing of kisses.

Played with the baby, even getting him to laugh. That's hard to do when he's ornery.

Lotioned, PJ'd, read to, prayed with, fed, and put the baby to bed.

Made dinner.

Done two loads of laundry.

Done a load of dishes.

Imagined a spectacular twist to add to my novel.

Not bad for a mere two hours.

P.S. I've noticed I do these "I'm pretty amazing" posts every few weeks or so. I think it's because it's only every few weeks that I actually get the energy burst to actually be productive enough to have more than one thing on my To Do list done. Some days, I get home from work and lay on the couch dangling my fingers for Asher to play with while he lays on the floor. I just don't like to write about those days.

P.P.S. Just so you know, Dan's "Have Done" list for the day is probably a lot more impressive than mine. There were multiple other laundry and dish loads already done before I got home, and an ornery baby that was significantly less ornery than he might have been without his daddy.